A year ago, I’m working at my job where I help a lot of my Co-workers at their tasks added that I’m more knowledgeable than my Co-workers on specific things.
A girl I met at that company is nice to me because of my helping nature, and eventually I got attracted to her and asked if she wants to go to lunch with me.
But I noticed that other guys in the office tried to be nice and be helpful ONLY to her, as if they only help her, to find them attractive. Which resulted in them being a low value and only do nice things as a means to attract the girl.
I believe this is where the phrase “nice guy finishes last” came from.
If you are in a bar and met an attractive girl, then you tried to buy her a drink just to have the chance to talk to her, then you probably know that buying drinks out of nowhere doesn’t work.
And why is that? To answer this question, I’ll illustrate it with 3 scenarios.
Imagine a scenario where your best friend asks you to buy them a drink, do you just buy them a drink right away? Think about that for a minute.
Now imagine you just met a normal-looking girl and asks you to buy her a drink, would you buy it right away? Hold on to your answer for now.
Last one, if an attractive girl that you just met in a bar asks you to buy her a drink, would you but it right away? If your answer to all 3 questions is a staggering “Yes”, then it’s either you have a low-value self-esteem or you’re the person who say yes to everything.
I’ll explain my point of view, if an attractive girl asks me to buy her a drink.
My response would be “Why?”, why should I buy her a drink, do I like her? And if yes, how in the world did I like her if I just met her? Do I only look at her attractiveness?
See all those questions, girls know this.
A guy that only wants their looks will be overwhelmingly nice to them right off the bat with no logical reason, and that produces creepiness since that guy has an intent.
Added to that, a girl will feel like the guy only wants sex with her, since he’s only after her looks.
A high-value man looks not only at the girl’s outer appearance but also looks for a girl’s personality.
So what did my Co-workers did wrong? Their intent is to attract the girl by helping them.
Which the girl noticed and find it creepy in return.
So, should you just force yourself to help people? Uhm, I don’t force myself to help people, I naturally help people.
Also, it’s not about helping, it’s about being a great guy. I just use “helping” as an example.
Look at your principles and values in life. See, if you have a dislike or like towards doing good, and if you dislike doing good, try to figure out why.
To become a high-value man is not a simple trick that you only need to do 1 thing and you’ll change.
That’s not the case.
You need to set properly your principles and values which I’ll talk about in my future blogs.
So answering the question of the blog “why do nice guys finish last?”, the answer is no, a true nice guy doesn’t finish last, a fake nice guy? Yes, most of the time they finish last.