The Authentic Me Is Not Enough

Have you ever heard of advice about dating and relationships that just say you need to be yourself?

I become authentic and it worked to some degree.

But what if your dream girl is out of your league?

Should you keep saying to yourself that there’s no such thing as out of your league? Or worse, you’re the League? Just to make yourself more confident than you appear to be.

What if your authentic personality is you’re a shut-in, shy guy who is so awkward at talking to anyone? Can you just be your authentic self?

My answer is a big YES, but freaking work on yourself.

Are you now thinking if you work on yourself, then the girl who like the new version of you doesn’t really like you? That they should like you the way you are?

Now to be honest that’s sweet but chances are few people are like that and there’s nothing wrong with not being that sweet. It’s perfectly normal for a girl to reject you even if you’re authentic and showed who you really are.

It’s perfectly normal for a person to have a standard and not only choose based on being nicest or good.

We want certain qualities in our potential partner. It could be superficial like blonde and petite and or based on an attitude that’s kindness and sweet, or could be status like famous and rich.

We will not judge those people that have a certain standard than just choosing the most kindness and nicest guy.

Now that I remove that out of the way, I’ll explain to you why you need to work on yourself and there’s nothing wrong at working on yourself.

If the girl you’re dating wants a funny, well-dressed kind of guy you can show her your authentic side and later you’ll both realize that you’re not meant to be for each other. That’s what you call COMPATIBILITY, and yes, it’s important in having a relationship than just being in love.

Personally, I am the shut-in, shy type and socially awkward guy.

And let me tell you are NOT A FAKE, if you tried to improve yourself to your future romantic partner, you are a fake if you only pretend to be a certain type of guy that you’re not, like making it look like you’re rich but not.

If you want to look like rich, then BECOME RICH.

If you want to be funny then BE FUNNY.

If you want to be attractive, then FIX YOUR HAIR, PUT COLOGNE, BE FASHIONABLE (depends on your taste), BRUSH YOUR TEETH, WASH YOUR OILY FACE.

And of course you won’t change overnight, and that’s how most success are made of.

Little by little trying to improve yourself.

But what if at the end you still didn’t get a girlfriend?

Now here’s something you need to remember you should only do things you also like or at least will like after a few tries, for example, you decided to go on a journey to become better yourself and you choose to be a fun guy, but you’re really an introvert that doesn’t want attention or doesn’t want to talk a lot, you hated the jokes you make. Should you still push yourself to be funny?

The answer is up to you, but don’t change a fundamental part of yourself for a girl you are unsure of if you want her to be the happiest, most loved girl in the world.

We all make sacrifices, parents try to be happy in front of their children even if they have a lot of problems. Is that being fake? No, it’s because we want them to be happy.

But for a girl if you really hate being funny and for her it’s a deal breaker then I guess you’re not compatible.

Improve yourself and expand yourself.

Doesn’t mean it’s not you, it means it’s an improved version of you.

Compatibility is important in a relationship.

I choose to study improv comedy, to be funny because I also like it.

I enjoy having fun.

And I attract the girls who like a guy that is goofy and funny.